10. You get winded from knocking on the door.
9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
6. People say, "What a scary mask!" but you're not wearing a mask!
5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.
3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece.
2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.
and last but not least...
1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.
Showing posts with label top 10. Show all posts
Showing posts with label top 10. Show all posts
Friday, October 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Top 10 Signs Your Grandparents Are Still Sexually Active
10. Pair of edible Depends found on bedroom floor.
9. Lately, at night, they put their teeth in the same glass.
8. Grandpa grabs his crotch and complains loudly
of "denture-burn."
7. Not only do you hear the bed squeaking but also joints.
6. Granny found cuffed to her walker.
5. Grandmother starts baking Viagra-chip cookies.
4. Your "Grandma" is Anna Nicole Smith.
3. You've just seen the photos in the "Beaver Hunt"
section of HUSTLER.
2. Grandma regularly looks at Grandpa's crotch and claps twice.
1. Kraft-matic Adjustable Bed set for "doggy style
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Top 10 Beauty Tips From Abanna Cheshire
Top 10 Beauty Tips For The Rest Of Us
1. Have a pimple in the middle of your forehead? Tell people you are part unicorn and your magical powers are about to fully manifest.
2. To whiten your teeth... two words: White Out
3. Got dry skin? Stay in water at all times.
4. Need to remove stains from clothes? One word: scissors.
5. Got greasy hair? Tell people you are cultivating a naturally renewable, eco-friendly fuel alternative.
6. Got excess body hair? Braid it. Add beads for a touch of bling.
7. Oily skin? See #5.
8. Got frizzy, dry or brittle hair? Tell people you are the primary supplier for new eco-friendly brillo pad alternative.
9. Over-weight? Tell people that their eyes are formatted to wide screen and you have been formatted for tv.
10. Broken, chipped or brittle fingernails? Tell people that they got that way while you were mangling a fashionista who criticized your appearance.
That's it for now....so go forth and be thyself!
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