The Senior Citizen and the State Trooper

A senior citizen from the Villages drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership
in Ocala. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what
little hair he had left.

"Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State Trooper, lights flashing and siren
blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm
too old for this!" and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked
at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a
new reason for speeding--a reason I've never before heard -- I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper.
I thought you were bringing her back.

"Have a good day, Sir," replied the trooper.

10 Things To Never say To a Cop

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

3. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

4. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

5. I pay your salary!

6. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

7. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

8. Officer, I swear to drunk I'm god!!

9. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

10. When the Officer says "Gee Son.... Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"