The Senior Citizen and the State Trooper

A senior citizen from the Villages drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership
in Ocala. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what
little hair he had left.

"Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State Trooper, lights flashing and siren
blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm
too old for this!" and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked
at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a
new reason for speeding--a reason I've never before heard -- I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper.
I thought you were bringing her back.

"Have a good day, Sir," replied the trooper.

Senior Church Moment

A preacher was explaining that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation --- no one wanted him to leave.

Joe Smith, who owns several car dealerships in the city, stands up and proclaims, ... 'If the Preacher stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year, and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!'

The congregation sighs in relief, and applauds.

Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and investor, stands and says, 'If the Preacher will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary, and also establish a
foundation to guarantee the college education of all his children!'

More sighs and loud applause..

Sadie Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, 'If the Preacher stays, ... I will give him sex!'

There is total silence. The Preacher, blushing, asks her, 'Mrs. Jones, whatever possessed you to say that?'

Sadie's 90-year-old husband Jake is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand, and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies, 'Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said,... 'Screw him!'