Celebrity Quotes - Yes, they said it...

-"Some people say that I must be a terrible person, but it’s not true. I have the heart of a young boy in a jar on my desk" -Stephen King

-"Date Prince William? No, he's too...horsey. - Keira Knightley

-"They're a bit like chicken fillets really. You can hit people with them!" -talking about her temporary breast implants for Pirates - Keira Knightley

-"Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle." - Bob Hope

- "A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah." - Ronald Reagan

- "Commit the oldest sins, in the newest kind of ways." - William Shakespeare

"I've had a wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

- "I never think of the future - it comes soon enough." - Albert Einstein

- "I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time." - Marilyn Munroe

- "Those of you in the cheaper seats clap your hands, those of you in the
more expensive ones rattle your jewelry." - John Lennon

"Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun." - Mao Tse Tung

- "Husbands are like fires - they go out when unattended." - Zsa Zsa Gabor

- "I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to." - Elvis Presley

- "My one regret in life is that I'm not somebody else." - Woody Allen

-"Always forgive your enemies, but never forget their names." - R. Kennedy

- "She looks like she combs her hair with an egg beater." - Hedda Hopper

- "You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." - Dean Martin

- "You're not a real manager unless you've been sacked." - Malcolm Allison

- "This is on me" is what Dorothy Parker wanted on her tombstone

- "When you are down and out, something always turns up - usually the noses
of your friends." - Orson Welles

- "Anybody who sees and paints a sky green and pastures blue ought to be
sterilized." - Adolf Hitler

- "I am an optimist. But I'm an optimist who takes his raincoat." - Harold Wilson

- "The only place where success comes before work is in a dictionary." - Vidal Sassoon

- "I'm not against half-naked girls - not as often as I'd like to be..." Benny Hill

- "The nicest thing about quotes is that they give us a nodding acquaintance with the originator which is often socially impressive." - Kenneth Williams

"The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy". - Helen Hayes (at 73)

- "TV has brought murder back into the home where it belongs." - Alfred Hitchcock

- "TV is more interesting than people. If it were not, we should have people standing in the corners of our rooms." - Alan Coren

-"Wise men talk because they have something to say. Fools talk because they have to say something." -- Plato

-"Try not to become a man of success, but rather, try to become a man of value." -- Albert Einstein

-"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society." --Mark Twain

-"Woman are meant to be loved, not to be understood". --Oscar Wilde

-"Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend". --Martin Luther King, Jr.
"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind". --Gandhi

"If you love your job, you haven't worked a day in your life." --Tommy Lasorda

"Every relationship I've been in, I've overwhelmed the girl. They just can't handle all the love. " . --Justin Timberlake

"Keep your face to the sunshine and you will not see the shadows". - Helen Keller

"You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take. - Wayne Gretzky

"Happiness isn't getting what you want, it's wanting what you got". - Garth Brooks

"Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music". - George Carlin

"For those who understand no explanation is needed, ...For those who don't none will do". - Jerry Lewis

"Don't be so humble, you're not that great". - Golda Meir

"I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house". - Zsa Zsa Gabor

"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees." --Jason Kidd

"People think we make $3 million and $4 million a year. They don't realize that most of us only make $500,000." --Pete Incaviglia, baseball player, 1990

"I'm the best there was, the best there is, and the best there ever will be!." --Bret Hart

""Ninety percent of the game is half mental." --Jim Wohford

"Thanks, you don't look so hot yourself." - after being told he looked cool (Yogi Berra).

"If you've never seen an elephant ski, then you've never been on acid." - Eddie Izzard

And my personal favorite...

"I wouldn't want to be the leader of the Soviet Union. You never know when they are recording you." -- Former President Richard Nixon

The Hokey Pokey - Shakespeare Style

The following is from the Washington Post Style Invitational contest that
asks readers to submit "instructions" for something (anything), but
written in the style of a famous person.

The winning entry was The Hokey Pokey (as written by W. Shakespeare).

O proud left foot, that ventures quick within
Then soon upon a backward journey lithe.
Anon, once more the gesture, then begin:
Command sinistral pedestal to writhe.
Commence thou then the fervid Hokey-Poke,
A mad gyration, hips in wanton swirl.
To spin! A wilde release from Heavens yoke.
Blessed dervish! Surely canst go, girl.
The Hoke, the poke -- banish now thy doubt
Verily, I say, 'tis what it's all about.

-- by William Shakespeare
(Jeff Brechlin, Potomac Falls)