You Can't Take It Back

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take
> > > the words back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the
> > > testimonials of a few people who did....
> > >
> > > I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
> > > and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow
> > > job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My
> > > husband didn't say a word... he knew better.
> > >
> > > I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
> > > I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing
> > > for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking
> > > gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
> > > Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing
> > > with men's balls."
> > >
> > > My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold
> > > a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case,
> > > the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied,
> > > "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh
> > > hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
> > > To this day, my sister has never let me forget.
> > >
> > > While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
> > > release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab
> > > hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other
> > > patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now"
> > > she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and
> > > said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right
> > > now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last
> > > night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
> > > Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last
> > > of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The
> > > last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of
> > > laughter.
> > >
> > > Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My
> > > three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I
> > > was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick
> > > lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room.
> > > While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I
> > > checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I
> > > realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked
> > > him if he needed to go, and he said "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord,
> > > that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with
> > > me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
> > > "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident,
> > > because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time,
> > > "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked
> > > down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM,
> > > IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their
> > > tacos laughing! He calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old
> > > couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd
> > > ever had!
> > >
> > > This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a
> > > very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely
> > > think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't
> > > get any....a true story... We had a female news anchor who, the day
> > > after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the
> > > weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me
> > > last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew
> > > did too they were laughing so hard!