Monday, March 16, 2009

Laws That Didn't Make it into Science Books

Murphys' Law: If anything can go wrong, it will.
O'Tooles' commentary of Murphys' Law: Murphy was an optimist.
The unspeakable Law:
As soon as you mention something...
...if it's good, it goes away.
...if it's bad, it happens.
Nonreciprocal Laws of expectations:
Negative expectations yield negative results.
Positive expectations yield negative results.
Howes' Law: Every man has a scheme that will not work.
Zymurgys' first law of evolving system dynamics: Once you open a can of worms, the only way to re-can them is to use a larger can.
Etorres' observation: The other line moves faster.
Skinners' constant (Flannigans' finangaling factor): The quantity which, when multiplied by, divided by, added to, or subtracted from the answer you get, gives you the answer you should have gotten in the first place.
Law of selective gravity: An object will fall so as to do the most damage.
9A. Jennings' corollary: The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
Borens' law: When in doubt, mumble.
The golden rule of arts and sciences: Whoever has the gold makes the rules.
Segals' law: A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.

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