Hormone Safety Guide For Men

Give this to the significant male in your life. A laminated card might be best.
>
> Hormones
>
>
>
> The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when
> all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into
his
> own hands!?
>
> This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's
> license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant
> other!!
>
>
>
> DANGEROUS:What's for dinner?
>
> SAFER:Can I help you with dinner?
>
> SAFEST:Where would you like to go for dinner?
>
> ULTRASAFE:Here, have some chocolate.
>
>
>
> DANGEROUS:Are you wearing that?
>
> SAFER:Gee, you look good in brown.
>
> SAFEST:WOW! Look at you!
>
> ULTRASAFE:Here, have some chocolate.
>
>
>
> DANGEROUS:What are you so worked up about?
>
> SAFER:What did I do wrong?
>
> SAFEST:Here's fifty dollars.
>
> ULTRASAFE:Here, have some chocolate.
>
>
>
> DANGEROUS:Should you be eating that?
>
> SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
>
> SAFEST:Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
>
> ULTRASAFE:Here, have some chocolate.
>
>
>
> DANGEROUS:What did you do all day?
>
> SAFER:I hope you didn't overdo it today.
>
> ! SAFEST:I've always loved you in that robe!
>
> ULTRASAFE:Here, have some more chocolate.
>
>
>
> 13 Things PMS Stands For:
>
> 1. Pass My Shotgun
>
> 2. Psychotic Mood Shift
>
> 3. Perpetual Munching Spree
>
> 4. Puffy Mid-Section
>
> 5. People Make me Sick
>
> 6. Provide Me with Sweets
>
> 7. Pardon My Sobbing
>
> 8. Pimples May Surface
>
> 9. Pass My Sweatpants
>
> 10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
>
> 11. Plainly; Men Suck
>
> 12. Pack My Stuff......
>
>
>
> ..And my favorite one...
>
>
>
> 13. Potential Murder Suspect
>
>
>
> Pass this onto all of your hormonal friends and those who might
> need a good laugh! Or men who need a warning! And remember: Money
> talks...but chocolate sings.
>
>
>
> Another thing to giggle about... My husband, not happy with my
> mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able
to
> monitor my moods.? When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm
in a
> bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time
he'll
> buy me diamonds.
>
>
>
> Here have some chocolate.