Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Got Fiber?

Got Fiber…?

Everyone seems to be concerned about morals these days….but not THEIR morals….YOURS.
I don/t know who coined the phrase “moral fiber”, and truth be told, I don’t really care. What I can’t sort out, is who decides what constitutes being moral. Our government seems to think that they get to decide that is moral…but seeing as they aren’t exactly pinnacles of morality themselves, I really can’t bring myself to trust them to legislate it.

So…..who’s left? Well, there is the church. But that brings up another question: Which one has a lock on truth and morality? The answer: none of them. Different religions have different codes that they feel people should live by…and their moral way of telling you how to live is threatening you with eternal damnation if you don’t do it their way. And for some, if the threat doesn’t snap our belligerent selves into line, they are content to just kill us. Well, isn’t that spiffy? And it doesn’t really come off as all that “moral” to me.

From the time that I became socially aware, I have heard people in pulpits, at podiums, in classrooms, churches, on TV, and the radio, telling me what is moral and what is right. The politicians, preachers, rabbis, priests, journalists, celebrities, parents, kids, teachers… everyone is trying to drop in their two cents on how everyone should live. In the midst of all of this madness, what no one is saying is “what is right for me, might not be right for you.”

The human psyche screws with us on this because we are always saying we want to fit in while at the same time we rebel against the “norm”. Here’s a news flash… THERE IS NO NORM! No two people are the same and only the most narrow-minded, insecure, bullying, schmucks will try to force others to live within their code of morals… and the absolute worst ones will use fear to do it. The people who are screaming the loudest at us about moral fiber, I have noticed, are in more dire need of an enema than a fish is in need of water. If they were anymore full of crap, it would be free-flowing from their eyes.
I think most people know the difference between right and wrong. It’s not that hard really. Choose not to hurt someone else. That pretty much covers it. Go through your day, do no harm to others, handle your own behaviors and mind your own business. Don’t worry about what Bill and Jill are doing. Worry about your own life. Or at least work on the REAL wrongs in the world.

I think most morality pushers are so mortified by their own personal behavior, so filled with self-loathing, that they scream at the world about the filth of what they themselves are doing in an effort to cleanse their consciences. The louder they scream about it, the deeper in I tend to think they are. And I have noticed that they tend try to label anything fun as evil, just because they don’t know how to have fun and want the rest of us to suffer with them. Well…no thanks! I have learned to suffer quite well on my own.

I think if you really want to see how much moral fiber you have, what you need to do is go to the liquor store, buy a large bottle of rum, then go to a vending machine or corner store and get a cola. Get drunk, and what comes from that drunken stupor will tell you exactly how much moral fiber you have…and you will know, come tomorrow, whether or not you should be trying to guide someone else’s life or just work on your own. Chances are, like most of us, you will find that you are a proud member of the immoral minority as well…which is comforting since the immoral minority seems to be becoming the majority. At the end of the day, though, I think most of us are simply in need of a little nap. It always adjusted my behavior when I was six years old…maybe our parents were on to something.

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