Sunday, April 12, 2009

On a Deserted Island with a hot chick!

This is a classic must read!

Shipwrecked ED

Ed finally decides to take a vacation. He books himself on a
Caribbean cruise and proceeds to have the time of his life - until the boat
sank.

He found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other
people, no supplies... Nothing. Only bananas and coconuts.

After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the
most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him. In disbelief, he
asks her, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"

"I rowed over from the other side of the island," she says. "I
landed here when my cruise ship sank."

"Amazing," he says. "You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash
up with you."

"Oh, this?" replies the woman. "I made the rowboat out of raw
material
found on the island. I whittled the oars from gum tree branches; I
wove the bottom from palm branches; and the sides and stern came from a
Eucalyptus tree."

"But ... but ... that's impossible," stutters Ed. "You had no tools
or
hardware. How did you manage?"

"Oh, no problem," replies the woman. "On the South side of the
island, there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed. I found if
I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into
forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the
hardware." Ed is stunned.

"Let's row over to my place," she says.

After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf.

As Ed looks onto shore, he nearly falls out of the boat. Before
him is
a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and
white.
While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp
rope, he can only stare ahead, dumbstruck.

As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much, but
I call it home. Sit down, please. Would you like to have a drink?"

"No, no thank you," he says, still dazed. "Can't take any more
coconut juice."

"It's not coconut juice," the woman replies. "I built a still. How
about a Pina Colada?"

Trying to hide his continued amazement, he accepts, and they sit
down on her hand-woven couch to talk. After they have exchanged their
stories,the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more
comfortable.
Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor
upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom."

No longer questioning anything, Ed goes into the bathroom. There,
in the cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed
to a hollow-ground edge are fastened on to its end inside of a swivel
mechanism. "WOW! This woman is amazing," he muses, "what next?"

When he returns, she greets him wearing 'nothing but vines'
strategically positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She
beckons for him to sit down next to her.

"Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him,
"We've
been out here for a really long time. I know you've been lonely.
There's
something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something
you've been longing for all these months. You know..."

She stares into his eyes. He can't believe what he's hearing!

"You mean ...", he swallows excitedly, "We can watch the Steeler
game from here?"

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